The miracles we miss

While fighting Autism and waiting for that big miracle to happen, one can easily lose perspective and miss out the little flashes of magic that come our way and form the very fabric of our happiness. I’m fortunate I witnessed a few of those and am sure there will be many more to come…

He had a conversation

We were in the playground on a very ordinary day. I was ready for the day to end and just wanted to finish our customary visit to the park so that Vedant could have his shot at the swing. While he was patiently waiting for his turn, getting excited over the visual stimulation that a swinging kid provided him, a 10 something yr old girl asked him if he wanted to take a turn. He said “yes” . HE SAID YES!!!!!!!! And then, they exchanged places, he sat on the swing and pulled at my hand , gesturing me to give him a push. To an onlooker this was an insignificant exchange between two kids. To me it was nothing short of a miracle. Vedant actually had a functional conversation with someone. She asked, he answered, and  a meaningful action followed. This was huge!!! He was in the moment–right where he should have been. I was smiling all my way back home and almost the whole day next day; shared it with my friends and family who were confused over why this was such a big deal…not their fault…they need to walk in my shoes to appreciate the enormity of this event. I witnessed a miracle and I could have missed it if I was staring into the horizon wondering when my son would start talking.

He played fetch

It was one of those lazy summer afternoon. Vedant was on the hammock which is more of a swing to him and I was watching over him from my living room. Our dog Buddy was restlessly roaming around the yard trying to figure out what to chew on next. Vedant and Buddy’s relationship can at best be described as tolerance. They hardly acknowledge each other. We got Buddy from a shelter hoping he could be the friend that Vedant has not had so far. Maybe having him around would teach Vedant some social skills. Well, so far, that has not really happened. So, when I saw Buddy bring a tennis ball and drop it near Vedant’s feet, I thought nothing of it. I was pretty sure Vedant will be oblivious of it. But then something magical happened. He bent over, picked up the ball, looked at it for a while and then stared into Buddy’s eyes for what seemed like eternity ,and then threw the ball . THEY PLAYED FETCH!!!! Buddy brought the ball back and they did that thrice!!! I could not contain my excitement. I wish I had that on my camera so that I could play that over and over again–everytime I complain about nothing good happening in my life. When I saw Buddy bring the ball to Vedant, my first instinct was to ask him to bring it to me, but I waited instead. I could have missed this miracle if I had not given Vedant a chance. I needed to believe in him more often to see more miracles.

He rides a bike

Vedant has poor motor skills and motor planning. Therapist had ruled out climbing, riding a bike, and other activities that needed some co-ordination as activities that he could master or even feel comfortable doing. We decided to look the other way–the way that said “you go Vedant”. Winters were spent mounting his little bike on a pile of books and teaching Vedant how to paddle and by mid-summer he was riding his bike without his training wheels. How cool was that!!! I’m so glad we did not give up on him or else we would have never witnessed this miracle. He proved his therapists wrong and I could not have been happier. So were they. You should see him on the playground climbing and crawling like a little squirrel. He still struggles with co-ordination and motor planning but he can ride a bike and climb anything that has pegs. Magic!!!

He ate on his own

I’m still teaching Vedant the self help skills–dressing, feeding himself, bathing…. We are making progress, but very slowly. It was a very typical lunch routine that we both settled to start:I would help him pick up the spoon, help him scoop, and then guide it to his mouth. We did the ritual once when Vedant paused, pushed my hand away, and proceeded to eat his lunch…on his own…all of it…without my help. There was food all over the floor, his clothes and on the table but it was so worth all the mess. It was magical to watch him eat…with every bite he took, there were tears streaming down my cheeks and it was just magical…that sight…all those years of hard work and persistence paying off. Magic we might have never seen had we not had  faith in my son and his abilities. I still have to sit with him for his meals, and not all meals end up to be that miraculous, but I know he will get there…I need to just wait.
There are tons of other moments that make me believe in miracles…when he said my name for the first time…”Pulita” for Tulika, when he reciprocated a Hello with his Hi!, when I heard him sing his version of “twinkle twinkle little star” for the first time, when he finished a big knob puzzle on his own, when he was successfully able to thread small beads, and when he learnt to dribble his exercise ball…the list goes on.

The beauty of Autism is that what can be trivial for the rest is magical for us. The joys in little success is beyond words. All we need to do to witness a miracle is believe in our children, give them opportunities, and walk at their pace.